#i wont forgive her

[heavenly-kazee]

I feel this quite a lot.

Anger, resentment, malice, sadness, loneliness, neglected and spiritually taken away from faith.

It hurts a lot. I've watch my mother slowly ripping my relationship away from God.

They were my freedom and that inner child of mine was taken away.

I forgotten to act like a child again.

For the first time in my life, after I turned 18 years old, I finally ended my words with a simple answer:

"I wish my mom died, my love for education and learning wouldn't be this detrimental."

Three Years Lost to Depersonalization— a eulogy.

All these years.. I've let You bury ME

I watched as You possessed ME

You stole MY mind, MY body

You took ME

Made ME weak, made ME small enough to fit inside Your cage

and then You threw away the key.

I'm sure You thought it was easy…

Truth is, it was.

Not because You were stronger, but because I let You…

I was tired of fighting.

How was I to know You'd be such a fucking bitch?

You turned me into someone I hate.

You tortured ME.

Drowned ME in shame... guilt… disgust

You filled MY life with such putrid misery, and enjoyed every second of it.

But guess what?

All those years, I was sharpening my teeth.

Leathering MY skin.

Breaking MY bones—

turning them into weapons.

Planning Your execution.

You thought You had won

But I was never fully gone. You never fully had ME.

It just took ME a while to catch MY breath.

So... I hope You had fun while it lasted…

Cause now?

Now… You die

I’M the monster You thought You were.

I’M the one to fear.

[iooiu]

the ginger ever and her trashcan best friend

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

@val-the-bun hits me with a padded sledge hammer in the feels with the wereharpy vaggie au thanks for that once again i inflict this ask on others as a coping mechanism >:C

val-the-bun asked:

Charlie can see the claw marks on Vaggie's side, golden blood, *angel* blood, dripping onto the floor... Her grip on the spear is shaking.

'Did you ever believe in me, Vaggie?'

Another shriek, weak and *crackling* is her only answer. Vaggie's talons fall, and she almost *leans* into the point of the spear. She can see the tears streaming down Vaggie's face.

The spear slips out of charlie's fingers. Her hands are shaking too much. She grabs Vaggie by the feathers, glaring up at her.

'Do you?'

Vaggie is *shaking*, taloned hands curling around Charlie with a *whimper*.

Charlie is clinging to Vaggie as the monster *buckles* around her. She lets out another whimper, nuzzling against her face. She cant keep her tail from curling around Vaggie, burying her face in those feathers she knows so well.

'Oh Vaggie...'

I am picturing a lot of comfort after this

Like just

Vaggie all bandaged up

And just curled up with Charlie in the lobby. And she's just gently brushing Vaggie's feathers.

'So uh, does anybody wanna explain why Vaggie Tales is doin' a heavenly werebird in hell?'

'I... I dont know. Maybe this is just... Maybe this is what happens if an exorcist stays down here?'

Eventually Vaggie starts changing back. Which, ya know, yay!

Aaaand also oh shit. Because uh. *She kind of shredded her outfit in her transformation*. And her spare one is back in what's left of the room she was holed up in.

'Oh, fuck. Uh. Blanket? Quick? PLEASE???'

Queue a very embarrassed and kind of ashamed Vaggie curled up in a *huge* blanket. But...Charlie's holding her. Vaggie may not think she deserves it, but she is.

'Please tell me I didnt try to eat anybody...'

'Oh, no my dear. Shreading on the other hand!'

Charlie gives Alastor a glare that surprisingly shuts him up. Meanwhile Vaggie has basically disappeared into the blanket, save the barest hint of white hair.

'Dont worry about it Vags, your aim was pretty shit.'

Queue a jab in the side from Husk.

'What! It's true! She missed!'

(Aaand that's all i got for this for now. Might do more in the future. Might write a fic. Who knows!)

[fairycrowbar]

the transfem tavros thing is great and intriguing and I'm so glad to see Homestuck^2 actually going somewhere with its story for what feels like the first time ever. And I'm just gonna say it now. I will forgive the new Homestuck^2 team entirely of the sins of the past Homestuck^2 team if it means seeing her again

[triglycercule]

would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)

i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself

which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel

and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)

a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc

and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to

i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)

[moeblob]

Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).

I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".

[angelthemanspanker]

The way some people characterise Buffy in fics like you described genuinely put me off Buffy fandom for years, it was absolutely everywhere, in Spuffy fics, in faith/buffy fics, it felt like I couldn't read a fic without the obligatory 'Buffy apologises to whoever the fuck for being so mean' and I just stopped, it was so baffling

For real its so weirdly pervasive. It genuinely blows my mind bc I totally get the urge to use your fic to call out a character/plot point you don't like, more power to you. Like I'm constantly imagining rewrites of the scenes where Xander is at his most insufferable but no one in-show is verbalising obvious holes in his bullshit (my big one is that besides a one off line from Buffy that everyone in the show ignores and a DELETED line from Giles is that NO ONE calls him on his absolutely infuriating "I was jealous of Angel being with the girl I like and I'm gonna have the gall to pretend it was bc I saw him turning evil coming" BULLSHIT)

But like. Buffy? You came out of this show and the person you had beef with and want to call out is BUFFY? THE VAMPIRE SLAYER? The protagonist of all time? Bc she's mean sometimes :( people try to apologise for trying to kill her and she's so unsympathetic :( she carries out her responsibility as the Slayer whether she wants to or not even if the person she's targeting is a character I like :( why won't she apologise. why won't she apologise. why does she insist on taking up space. why can't she just be nice all the time. yes my ao3 tag is princessspuffy why do you ask. yeah I know their relationship is abusive but I think Spike would forgive her :)

[salty-spaceship]

Rlly thanks doofus it does mean a lot to me

And I always need to hear it because the thought of me not forgiving her makes me spiral and think im a bad kid because she loves me yk and she tries doing what she thinks best

Lmao more venting sorry..

But she's too engrossed in her own reputation to do anything about it even when I tell her whats wrong and atp im tired of telling her

It hurt me when I was a kid but it hurts way more now that I'm (trying to be) openly queer and an independent person

She's already made ma paranoid about medication (only take it when the pain is unbearable or else you'll get addicted) and treats me like a child when I try to exercise my semi independence as an almost young adult but acts as if I'm supposed to be an adult when I can't/don't know how to do something I'm "supposed to"

Also I've had many universities call me from abroad when I was 15 freaking 15

I wanted to attend a design university in Germany but she said I couldn't go because "the Nazis will kill you on sight" because of my indigenous and african ancestry (I look white cuz of my dad and my english is almost at native level so her argument doesn't even apply)

I couldn't pick my clothes until recently and she guilty trips me into wearing what she buys me

She tried to force dresses upon me so so many times

I used to love dresses but her comments make me dysphoric as all fuck

And I'd think I could count on dad to support me but no he just also doesn't "think im trans" but doesn't gaf abt my sexuality so he just lets mum say whatever

And this whole.thing makes me want to tear myself into a million tiny pieces because all I could do is leave but I cant because they deprived me of being able to work until now and I don't have any money or experience to either move out or get a job without having to do a stupid 5 hour test with an essay

Theres so many fu ked up things abt my family omfg and im not even halfway done w mum if I ever talk abt dad I might break down

Curling up like a cat

I'm so tired

[theprinceandthewitch]

I'm pretty much done with TOH lol.

A braver and more energetic soul can try giving this show a constructive critique... because I will actually, wholeheartedly lose my humanity while writing out the script.

There is like... a problem this show has that permeates the whole thing: It says its going to do one thing, but then does something completely different. Like how the first two episodes of the series make you believe Luz is going to learn how her inability to separate fantasy from reality is actually inhibiting her growth as a person... only to make her a chosen one and to give her everything she ever wanted without Luz changing the way she treats people.

[yuridovewing]

envisioning myself as the creator of my pride for a second… i feel like if i was setting up a pairing where one character has been systemically abused for being disabled and female most of her life, and the romantic interest was introduced to her by…. having said romantic interest mock her for being systemically abused…. i would not have that be the setup for an uwu true love prevails story. i would more likely portray that as nothing clinging onto hover because she’s got no support back home and she’s better than her abusive mother and sisters at least, but the relationship is still not great because both characters are incompatible and do not respect each other, and nothing has been primed to take abuse in all of her relationships anyways. its just another rough journey for nothing to clear, not her happy ending.

[angelstrawbabie420]

SEASON 5 OF HOUSE IS SO FUCKING CRAZY

[acey-deer]

I saw an image of Barbara with a skyward gun and it made me laugh since I built my Barbara to be dps since she was one of the only characters I liked the attack style of and I didn't understand what a dps or support was.

this is the original image

[tzimtzum]

CAN I TAKE HIS PLACE TUESDAY

[dukeofthomas]

"He hurts you because he loves you" classic excuse for abuse, not an interesting angle to go at a story with, boring, annoying, makes me hate anyone who says this shit. "He loves you but he still hurt you" beautiful, amazing, empowering. Love is not a pure, good, flawless emotion, actions matter more than intent, and caring for someone doesn't mean you can't or won't hurt them, and in my opinion, it makes hurting them worse.

[mimiruku]

I WAS WAITING 🥳🥳🥳😈😈😈 QUESTIONS FOR MIRUKU!!

All under Catmint - Ferocity, Courage and Quarrelsomeness!!

█   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐂 ��𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⸻ ( ⚝ )

Here we go again with my ridiculously late answers, but thank you for always humoring me and sending questions in, Melon! I hope your day is going well !

╰┈┈➤   𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒕 - 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔.

───  01.  How quick is your OC to anger? Can they fly into a fury, seemingly out of nowhere? Or does it gradually build like a gathering storm? Infrequent & quick to relinquish. By default, Miruku is not an angry person nor does he have the capacity to hold onto anger. It's an emotion that is more often than not replaced by dejection and despondency, he's more likely to express disappointment and sadness rather than anger. He also values his comfort enough to not gather and bottle most negative emotions he comes across, this side of him helps relieves his displeasures.

However, person as he is, some disturbances cannot be avoided, the handful of times he had been truly angered were moments that debilitated him wholly physically. It is a foreign emotion he does not really know how to handle, it makes him physically ill as a result.

───  02. What motivates your OC to be courageous? A sense of honour or duty? A need to maintain a reputation for fearlessness? A bloody-minded refusal to be pushed around? A wish to protect the vulnerable? The need to win against all odds?

Miruku is not a courageous individual, though at first glance he may seem bold and fearless, his truth is stranger than fiction ! His fear response is thoroughly impaired, unable to properly react to danger cues. He could be aware that something or someone is dangerous but fear is alarmingly dulled, fortunately he was taught to curate his well-being and safety first and foremost.

This affliction, while worrisome to his love ones, had proven to be quite helpful in navigating the underbelly of the mafia system. This is likely why, in spite of being a civilian, Miruku was able to wedge himself into crime and violence, though because this is not at all normal or healthy, he ends up suffering else where.

───  03.  What subject is your OC most likely to argue about? And who are they most likely to argue about it with?

Miruku Osashima does not argue, he simply MANSPLAIN people into submission. He has this horrible way of completely ignoring what people are saying, talking over them without much of an 'anyway' to change subject. He knows what he is doing and he does not want to acknowledge your opinion whatsoever ; the subject ? Anything. ( He does this often to Momina, some kind of bullying tactic. He finds her frustrations cute. )

───  04. Does your OC often bicker with others? Do they complain frequently? Is this due to genuine dissatisfaction or anger? Or is it done in a slightly tongue in cheek fashion?

He is pedantic without a cost, but Miruku would never claim he bickers. He banters albeit viciously in frustrating and ridiculous extent, he doesn't need to be right nor does he care to win, he only bickers and complain only to tease. He does it often enough that you'll get use to his misconduct, though admittedly if you're particularly sensitive, you'll likely feel like you're being tyrannize by a school yard bully, in some ways he is but the bully likes you a lot and things is sweet when you whine and cry.

His TORMENTOR LITE hobby however, will eventually blow up in his face. In his adulthood, this schemes hardly works with the three men that keeps him in check... Reborn, Takeshi and Dino has a special way of forcing him to behave, it's almost believable when he starts whining about how they don't actually love him and that they're sick and twisted for whatever totally reasonable thing they've put upon him. Suddenly, he knows how to bite his tongue.

───  05. When was your OC the most angry they have ever been? What about this situation made them so angry? Was it the person who provoked them? The injustice of the situation? Or their own powerlessness in the face of circumstance?

It had been when Yuni returned with Byakuran, he didn't think he could have ever hated anyone more than he hated Yuni in that moment. Byakuran is a very unique pain that he could not begin to commiserate with. Yuni forgave Byakuran in their stead, as if she has authority to revoke the harm he had done.

His outrage will eventually melt into special ache. Yuni had made Miruku deeply and irrevocably heartbroken. He looks at her pained, but as he let goes of Byakuran, so does he with her.

[appl3l0v3r4lif3]

Vent

I'm so tired, like I'm tired emotionally, like not physically, I can run around and have fun and stuff but the millisecond I'm alone or no one is listening to me it's like I've never slept before and I've just worked a double, like I feel like I'm faking my mental issues because I don't have any diagnosiss and I don't know what they could be but I know they're there I know I'm not normal normal people don't cut themselves,normal people don't wish to die and normal people definitely don't lay in their bed unable to get up to piss because they're mindlessly scrolling through social media praying for their friend to actually respond to them with words other than 'oh','sigma' or 'im too busy'

I miss the girl who would run around the field with me talking about gacha life and LGBTQ, I miss the girl who would talk to me daily and joke with me and would giggle and tell me I'm sigma

I miss Stevie

I think I'm gonna throw myself off a bridge or Infront of a train, but first I need to see Stevie so I can give her my money, I don't want my family to have it, I want Stevie to

Her family doesn't have as much money as mine, like we're middle class but not like, posh middle class and we aren't like poor middle class we're just.... In the middle?

But hers is lower middle class and she loves being outside and hanging out with people and having fun and if she wants to have fun because of the capitalist hellscape we live in, she needs money, so I want her to have it so she can be happy when I'm gone.

I love Stevie more than she'll ever fucking know.